The first thing I want to say is: don't lower your standards. If you need all of those things to be completely happy, then that can't be changed. The real question is whether you feel like you're as happy as you can be right now. If you are, then there's nothing to worry about. But if you really feel like your needs aren't being met, then I would try to look for something better.

Now to my second point: your wants and needs are not connected to your dx. I've known people far needier than myself who weren't diagnosed with anything. It seems that I'm similar to you in the sense that I need to be stimulated emotionally and intellectually as well as sexually. I was in a "safe" relationship for a time and was going to settle, but it finally hit me that I wasn't happy. That person was not on the same intellectual level as myself and there were sexual inefficiencies, so lacking those things made the relationship fall apart.

The relationship that I have right now with my fiance (who I never would have met had my safe relationship not fallen apart) is the best thing I've ever experienced. It's the first time that all my needs are consistently being met, and none of the issues I had in past relationships even exist. I've been in a lot of relationships, but this is the only one I feel completely happy with. I'd given up when I met him, and all my negative expectations have been completely blown away because I never expected to meet someone like him. So it is possible to have high standards and have all of them met, it just takes a while to find the right person.

I hope that whatever you decide to do, you end up happy. That's what's most important.