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freewill said:
There is no need to say anything by anyone, no one could be more disappointed in me than me.......... I am restricting once again...

And does it really matter... my extreme pain needs to be expressed somehow...

If you think about it,,, I could just as well go back to SI'ing or exercising till I drop, or ending my life, or.. or.. or.. or.. or.. and the list goes on and on and on...

so what can anyone really say.. you're a mess.. and I would agree..

no 3 meals a day,,,, no puppy,,, no anything...

my pain needs to find a place to ease.. so it has gone into this post.. it is better than ending my life....

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Freewill I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this battle. Recovery is one of the hardest battles a person can ever fight and you are smack in the middle of it right now. You were climbing so well, you have only just lost your footing a bit. You can still do this...I KNOW you can, we all know.

I agree with you in that extreme pain requires expression, but perhaps not in a form that only harms you more. You are only resorting back to what you have always known, it's the easiest thing to do and we all do it once in a while...but you can fight this freewill..you can and we are here to help you.

and I also agree that now may just be puppy time. Something to divert your attention away from your pain a bit, and onto something cheerful and loving. Puppies are great listeners and great comforters...

please try and take care of yourself...
lil