I'm hanging on , doing better . don't have any thoughts of suicide . but I'm still having trouble getting out of bed and living . I've seem to have lost my vest for life and I don't know how to get it back. I'm in therapy and I'm started to get to close and needy and that scares me .I'm married have friends but choice to isolate to much ,but when I plan something I do get up and do activity ;but go back up stairs . I just want to have no more pain or at least a handle on it all .I so use to enjoy life. I hide it pretty well I think now but want to start living again