baaaaah.. sorry. bad sheep humour.

my t talked about middle group ways i could handle this but i backed out and backed down. i'm not very strong anymore. i used to be once.

thanks everyone for responding, those in the black flock or not. i suppose it's not just being treated as the bad child, but having a split... one good child and one bad child... makes it more obvious. i just let them circle the wagons and alienate me briefly. AT least it has been reasonably brief... so far.

once in my church..well when i had a church... they had a service for the teens and they had them all go to the front... had them all crying over their wickedness i guess... i was the only one left and i wouldn't go. i sat in those front pews alone with the minister leaning over me begging me to join the others. i think he thought i was evil too... and the people in the church. i know my mom was crying.

my dear honore... balzac is such a icky name... how ever did you choose it? it has an unhappy feel as it rolls from the tongue and reminds me of a bad spice or something. i have missed a lot of people lately...working mostly. But i miss you, not just in chat but in general.