I was sexually abused by a sibling only one year older than me for years. It has affected me terribly. I have never been in a relationship. He was my best friend, my playmate. He abused that trust. I hated him at times. I felt angry at times. At times I feel like he ruined my life. I have learned to forgive him for the most part but it has taken many years. I felt a lot of shame and guilt for a long time but it is not like it used to be. My parents left us alone all the time so he had free access to me. I always figured if I would have been easier if it was an adult than I could say he overpowered me but it was my brother. I heard all the negative connotation. What you are traumatized by what your brother did? Are you gay? etc. I still feel this intense shame when people ask about the age difference. I know now I was groomed from the very beginning and I knew he could beat the hell out of me. I have had a lot of therapy to overcome this and other problems in my life. Trust me you are not alone.