Quote:
Originally Posted by AngstyLady
I've thought of myself as having DID before in the past but wasn't sure. I used to drink a lot and smoke (weed and cigarettes) and drinking energy drinks and consume way too much sugar (had a sugar addiction- still working on that one a bit actually) and sometimes used hard drugs- I used to associate certain different altered states of mind with being intoxicated. Until recently- where I've felt like 'not myself' at times, and I continue to live the clean and sober life. So there might be something to that.
Like in the last week I've been not quite feeling like myself a lot- confident and sassy and outspoken-sometimes bitingly sardonic (I see it as a defense mechanism from being pushed around too much in the past)- and it's like, who is this- this is like the me that used to come out when I'd drink heavily- but apparently since I don't used substances like I used to this side of me is bursting out on it's own, IDK.
And while I like being vegetarian because I really empathize with all human creatures and am a pacifist by nature, sometimes I'm this person who just HAS to eat meat like I'm some macho man from an earlier century (this same person is very vindictive in a righteous way). This same person also seemingly randomly litters because in the scheme of things it doesn't really matter and I hate myself later and can't believe I did that. It's like I'm two archetypes in one trying to get along. lol, I don't know.
Sometimes ideas or thought come from nowhere and I can't always stop myself from saying them or doing them (rarely, I should say, actually)- or I'll sometimes have a random 'thought' that is not my internal thought- it's like it got inserted into my head out of nowhere -at a time when I wasn't thinking at all. I don't know if that makes any sense?  |
es to me it makes sense but probably not on the same wave length that you may be wanting to know about...by that i mean your post mentions drug \alcohol use and in my location the types of drug\alcohol usage you mentioned can cause the kind of things you have noticed. also something you may not be aware of is that if the CA in your location is here in the USA (many countries and locations use those same letters) then the first step to figuring out what this is and whether it makes sense is seeing a treatment provider to rule out your past or present drug use as the cause. the diagnostics for dissociative disorders state that the problem can not be because of drug usage. that means if you are looking into possible diagnosis treatment providers will have to look at and address that first. this might mean you will have go go a time without any usage of any kind.
my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact a treatment provider who can help you to get clean and sober then diagnose whether this is dissociative or not in you and how to best treat it.