I get what you are saying...I truly do, though it's not just women who don't orgasm every time. I've had lots of confused faces when I've explained to others that even as a guy (everyone assumes guys always cum) I don't always ejaculate and even if I do ejaculate, it might not come with an orgasm. Many moons ago when my wife and I were younger I could definitely feel my wife have an orgasm. Sometimes she would even play with my penis using just her vaginal muscles. Imagine that, she could make me cum simply by manipulating her muscles like a massage on my penis. From that point of view, it felt amazing and even a bit cool to have felt what her insides were doing.

However, as I started saying, now I have had to change my outlook to the same as yours...that being an orgasm is not a requirement of being sexually intimate. I'm now at a point with the loss of sensation in my penis that there are times when I have to ask my wife if my penis is actually inside her and if I still have an erection. Although it has always been my goal to ensure she is satisfied before I am, now it is the only way to go. When we have sex, it is all about her...there is no limit...if she wants one orgasm or ten, she gets them. Because for me, I have learned to get emotional pleasure from giving pleasure. I am able to finish intercourse without having had an orgasm, and still be happy because I had "fun".

You have the right idea that what is more important is love and communication, because it allows for emotional fulfillment even if you aren't sexually fulfilled.