Want to welcome you to PC......I have read your posts......sounds like you are on the wrong track with the people you are hanging around with.....first of all....like sabby said, alcohol is a depressant.....& I remember the days when I was around weed (I never actually smoked it cause I didn't smoke)...it also had a depressing effect on me also. So if you are the least bit depressed, that will only be adding to your bad feelings.

You also said you have (or had) a probation officer.....sounds like you have made some poor choices in your past.....or at least have choosen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.....anyway, it sounds to me like it would be a good idea for you to at least go to a psychologist. Your posts sound like you want to make the right changes to your life because you have matured out of the group you are hanging around.....anyway, the point is that having a psychologist to talk your thoughts over with can help you make the changes you want to make to your life.

It is really hard to make major changes like that without outside support....even the strongest personalities have a difficult making major changes in life & pulling away from people you have been hanging around with for a long time. A objective professional could help you put your thoughts into actions so that you life will be made into positive changes that you will be happy with the rest of your life......& they are someone to take things through with.

Of course, PC is a great place to run your throughts by, but a professional will be able to help beyond the help you can get here.....& that along with this can be beneficial in making those changes you want to with your life.

We are here to support,
Debbie