hi Aviza

I'm sorry you are not feeling so good. But having good medication and therapy would help.
As we cannot read other people's minds, we don't really know what they think about us, and they might not have bad feelings about you at all. Other people do seem to be very successful, but as has been said that might not be the whole story. In any case, if they had had depression and problems to cope with would they be able to manage even half as well. as we do? And you are doing very well. Keeping going. Despite all of the problems. There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill that you can Google, and contact. They run peer to peer support groups which would give you the opportunity to make new friends and fellow sufferers make the best ones. I hope and pray everything does get better for you in the future. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis