I have this horrible horrible habit of always placing my happiness on attention, usually the wrong kind from the wrong places. Does anyone else find that they need to have someone new constantly giving them positive attention in order to feel happy (which is probably manic anyway)?

The worst part of this is that I am married, and my husband does a great job of always telling me how much he loves me, that I'm beautiful - etc. but from him I find it annoying and just want to get away from him. However I find myself signing up for dating sites just to meet new people to flirt with and have them tell me the same things that he does.

On top of it - if someone doesn't give me the attention I want - I start to go all stalker and can't stop. Currently I was talking to someone I went to HS with, and he had been all flirty, so being the self destructive person I am - I hooked up with him. Then he started backing off (cause he got what he wanted probably) and I panicked and can't seem to stop myself from constantly messaging him.

My "right mind" knows I need to stop, but I am almost powerless to do so and the fact that he barely replies has me going into a downward spiral where just a few days ago I am sure I was on a manic high.

The worst part of all this is that I thought my meds had stabilized me, and now I am seeing that maybe they didn't, or maybe I am just really a basically messed up person at the very heart of it all and I am blaming a disease for me being a bad person?

Help...anyone else have this issue?!?!