Is it possible that you are disgusted by larger women because you are, in turn, unhappy or displeased with your own appearance or health? Is it not also possible that you are exclusively attracted to thinner women because that is your true desire for yourself, and therefore you have an attraction to that physique?

I personally cannot relate. I have never picked my partner based on outward appearance. I have dated and been in serious relationships with incredibly thin and trim men as well as men of a larger build. My ex-husband was a very large man and I had no qualm whatsoever with his appearance. I find the beauty in the person. But, as visual creatures, many people need to have that initial attraction first.

You mention you are a "virgin". Have you ever been in a serious relationship with anyone? I didn't want to assume. What about serious friendships with members of the opposite sex?

If you are attracted to women that have a certain physical description, then you can't change what you like. I like a certain personality type. I can't just decide I don't. Then you'll be unhappy and bitter. So, stick with what you like but consider other options for pursuing those relationships. Consider developing friendships and going from there. The right person is out there, but you have to make yourself available too. How are you interacting with these women you find attractive? Do you share the same interests or values as them, or are you just strictly attracted to their body?

As far as your initial question, can high standards be a disorder-- I don't know that it is so much a disorder. I myself have incredibly high standards and have tried to date people thinking I could mute them. I can't. I don't think it makes me bad or wrong. It doesn't make anyone that doesn't align with my standards wrong. It just makes us wrong for each other.