I'd like to thank everyone for your responses!
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Originally Posted by rcat
But, are you waiting for such a woman to just come along or are you actively pursuing them? So too, in what places are you looking for these women?
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I suppose that's part of my problem. Part of it was so much rejection growing up; it really affected me. I tried a few more times in college but again, all rejection. So after college I just gave up. I'm totally isolated now; I have no friends, let alone women I could be interested in. Add in social anxiety, undeveloped social skills, no self-esteem or confidence... And yeah, you can see why I'm a virgin for life.
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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
High standards are not necessarily the problem, as much as it is a double standard more than anything. You expect and look for women based on a high standard of healthy weight and lifestyle while you yourself do not hold yourself to such standards.
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This is definitely true. I've always hated my weight and wished I could get thinner. I think depression is partly to blame -- I don't have and cannot find the motivation to change my lifestyle. And a common reaction to depression and anxiety for me is binge eating. Plus I just plain
hate exercise -- I was constantly teased for being slow and bad at athletics as a kid, and I think that just made me hate it.
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Originally Posted by divine1966
I think if you are going for unattainable women you might be subconsciously attracted to unavailable people. People with whom it would not work
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I've thought of this too, and it might be very true. Maybe I've got some pathological condition where I always want what I can't have. I can think of several ways in which that's proven true.
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Originally Posted by jaymoq
Is it possible that you are disgusted by larger women because you are, in turn, unhappy or displeased with your own appearance or health? Is it not also possible that you are exclusively attracted to thinner women because that is your true desire for yourself, and therefore you have an attraction to that physique?
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This was one of the possibilities I addressed in my OP, and I think it could be quite true. I hate my own appearance, but I gave up on it a long time ago. Every now and then I'll get this really strong desire to change my lifestyle and get fit but it's not that easy. Plus I worry that it really could be genetic, and thus not easily changed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaymoq
You mention you are a "virgin". Have you ever been in a serious relationship with anyone? I didn't want to assume. What about serious friendships with members of the opposite sex?
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No, I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone at all. As a kid most of my friends were girls. But then puberty happened, depression and anxiety hit, my weight rose quickly and I lost all confidence. I've had real troubles with basic friendship ever since, let alone intimate relationships. And severe social anxiety makes it feel impossible now. Thus, virgin for life.