maybe this is true. i think he was starting to push me because of what i mentioned a few weeks ago regarding my financial situation and my plan. i just feel really confused about everything and not sure what to do about any of it. job...friends...my apartment..school. i feel like its time for things to change but i dont feel ready. all of this boils down to my fear of my disability being taken away. and my thoughts of having to end my life if that does happen.

anyway... i will see T on saturday.