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Old Sep 24, 2015, 09:22 PM
Anonymous200210
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneInBillions View Post
Hey everyone. Another thread got me thinking. I've always had really high standards when it comes to dating and romance. Throughout my teens I chased after girls who were way out of my league, and always got rejected as a result. I've always been a bigger guy, and was morbidly obese by 16, but I've always been exclusively attracted to skinnier girls. Maybe it's self-loathing or something, I dunno. But from a sexual standpoint bigger women simply disgust me. Don't get me wrong; I've known some very kind, smart and wonderful big women in my life, but I can never see them as potential love interests or partners.

I know it's shallow and reprehensible. I know I focus way too much on appearance when it comes to attraction. And I think it's pretty common these days with portrayals of women in the media, porn, etc. But I cannot change it. It's just the way I am. Now I'm resigned to being a virgin for life because I know that no one I'm interested in will return the feeling.

Is there some psychological term for sky-high standards? Or could it be a symptom of something else? A relationship or personality disorder? All I could find on Google is perfectionism but that doesn't seem quite right. And it doesn't really fit with depression or anxiety, I think, unless it's hatred and disgust for my own obesity.

I really hope this doesn't offend anyone; that's not my intention. I'm just wondering if this is just another part of my broken personality, or something more.


High standards in my opinion aren't a problem until you make them exclusive standards meaning that you will only date or be in a relationship with someone who has those standards. It is okay to have your preferences which may mean you high standards but to enter a state of mind where you only date men who are 6'0" tall or greater and so on is disabling yourself. Sometimes we end up with a partner who is nothing like our preferences but we happened to find them to be our true love anyways. Simply, having preferences is fine but stay open minded and avoid being like an admissions committee.