oh like going in to trance and acting out (or wanting to) from a trance state (vs emotional state)... and further like it felt ancient... not of our present or any present in history books. I'm not making sense. But that's what it felt like. Anyone get that feeling?

I found where I put my post.... so here it is....
ok so we all have ways we act out. One of them cuts.
But every now and then there comes a pull, a draw to cut that is.... seemingly ancient, if that makes sense. It has no emotion, no fear, no anxiety, no sense of "what i'm doing is wrong or unsafe". It feels just old... as old as forever.



I'm wondering if anyone else ever feels that? It's really hard for me to fight it off. and I'm usually in trance when it happens, or am quickly pulled in to trance.



This came up this week. Thankfully, when I picked up the phone, my friend answered and talked me back to a more academic discussion.
Tonight I was doing ok, but then an urge hit and I urge surfed until my friend called just now. whew.