Yeah me too. I wish therapists understood how truly helpful they can be and yet also how important it is for them to be reliable and consistent. Most of us who are in therapy didn't get the reliable/consistent growing up. I know for me, I got a lot of chaos and dysfunction. So the whole thing threw me for a loop. I think had he cancelled at least 24 hours in advance I would have been okay about it, could have prepared myself, etc. I get that things do come up, but now I just don't trust the guy and don't know how much further I want to go with the therapy process. I've only seen him two times. Why open up more to him if he isn't going to help me by way of being unreliable/inconsistent. I guess it is too much to ask to find a male therapist, who is stable, consistent and considerate, empathetic, warm and caring, and who would be able to work with me long enough to work through all the crap I've been dealing with regarding men and my lack of trust/care for them since being hurt, used, abused and whatnot in the past. It seems when I have found this, they just abandon me anyways. Probably because I'm too much to handle or something. Go figure. That is why I need their help.

As for the sex thing, I guess it is unfair to take it off the table if he still wants it. At this point, I really do not care. He is a rebound for me (and I am for him). I like how healing called it - my revenge on the world lover As for relationship? Doesn't work for me if we get intimate too soon.

I do realize I need to be safe. I guess didn't think it through. The last guy didn't even offer to use protection and I didn't say anything. And yet again on the first date... so I decided to not answer his calls and never see him again. This guy I am at least going a little farther with in trying out a date this weekend. That is why he is a rebound. It has been over 3 years since I've been in a relationship since the last one ****ed me up so bad. If I am to ever get in one again, it is going to take a lot of trust. In the meantime, getting out of the loner shell will probably be beneficial to me. So it is selfish and to my benefit. Sorry to be the one to use the guy this time cause 99% of the other times I believe the guy was using me...