I am so out of my depth with any "Star Trek" references. But I would say - if you need to be "a demanding a**h***" towards anyone to get to a better place in life, do it. Seriously. I know a number of nice guys who would be so much happier if they let out that "demanding a**h***" part of themselves more often.

Not saying do it all the time, or become a pick-up artist, or whatever. But it's one way to learn to be assertive and self-defending.