It's not stupid or weird at all that you cut for those reasons. Believe it or not that is very common. It is difficult for parents to take a reality check and see that we are hurting or trying to refocus things away from emotions by harming ourselves. Something that has helped me is to write out how you feel on a piece of paper. not a list just make sorta a graffiti collage of words of how you can figure out how you feel. I even write stuff that doesn't make any kind of sense. Rage, anger, numb, shout, scream, disappear, run, ect. if you can write it out sometimes it really does have a huge impact on us. it even helps to get the strong emotions out so the urge to cut is not so tough. I hope this helped a tiny bit.