Apologies for the wall of text, tried to keep it as short as I could. I really appreciate your time.

I have never been mentally sound growing up, I went through periods of serious isolation not wanting to talk to people having heightened anxiety, to being very social active, going to friends houses everyday after school. During my early teens there was a lot of hard drugs and some bad episodes of depression, trouble with the police in relation to drugs. Periods of feeling like the coolest guy and also periods of feeling like a worthless ****. However, I swear this is every teenager.

Fast forward to going to Uni, left home, family and moved to the other side of the world. Everything was fine I was enjoying myself until I slowly just couldn't take it, I become a shell of my former self locked in severe depression to the point where I couldn't handle social interaction and started to abuse alcohol (drinking a lot on my own), only made things worse so stopped.

After awhile I recouped and ended up going to the gym and got heavily invested in it, almost obsessed and felt amazing, i would dancing in my room looking at myself in the mirror thinking I was huge, ripped and awesome (I wasn't). Got a GF, things were good (At this point I just assumed I had got over my problems and was on the way to success).

Fast forward some more, I was diagnosed with Celiac disease, became very ill, lost a lot of weight, took up some weird ideas as to why it all happened, why I also got seb derm at the same time. Changed my diet in a crazy way to try and improve on everything (skin/digestion). Became heavily depressed, ruined my relationship with GF to where she cheated on me. Dropped everything and came back to where I was raised to live with my parents. Very depressed for a long time but picked myself up and got into the work place.

Things were feeling good, very good. I felt amazing I worked insanely hard, thought I was the **** again got back in the gym. Became very depressed again, my skin seemed to bother me as I said I have seb derm and it's a condition I have to maintain. Effected my work and people were constantly asking me what was wrong, I knew I was off but thought they were just being over dramatic. At this point the downs were getting bothersome, my social skills would drop insanely and I hated looking people in the face, anxiety was elevated. Wanted to be left alone completely. However, at this point I wasn't questioning anything I was used to ups and downs.

This is when things got a little weird. A girl at work took interest in me and I was feeling generally al right. I enjoyed the attention but I was getting very stressed about it all. This is when when depression hit a new turn for me, I know at the time I was worried about how she would take my skin problem, even though she clearly didn't care or notice (I am very over critical of it even when I can get my skin looking healthy). This over critical view definitely added to the stress. Any who, this time the suicidal thoughts came in hard, constantly thinking about how I could end myself, a lot of near misses. I felt numb, did not care. I remember walking constantly at night thinking about how I want Just to note I was smoking some weed around the time of the night walks.

I spent a lot of time smoking weed and sitting by myself and venturing out at night. I suddenly had a switch go off and instead of being depressed I was very happy, feeling very confident, devious and I went around climbing into peoples gardens, stealing push bikes for joy rides and just enjoying myself. I was getting a rush from it all. This didn't last long, one day I just stopped doing it, suddenly realising the stupidity of it. I work in a big global Law Firm in a very professional setting, adds to the ridiculousness of that period. I stopped smoking weed round about now.

Since then I have stopped smoking weed and have had another episode of depression, social skills gone, can't bear to go out in public which switched to an insanely good feeling of being able to take on anything.

I am starting to get concerned now, is this all normal?