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Originally Posted by borncatastrophe77
So I have a question for you all. I have BPD, anxiety, and depression.
There is a very serious issue I have with memory. I hate to be graphic but there are certain sexual things that I've apparently done with guys in my past that I don't remember doing. Like I swear on my life that I didn't do them. But after having conversations with them, seperately of course, they confirmed that I did. They were not cohersed into saying these things. They said them on their own. I would remember if I did certain things with them, but I don't.
It makes me feeling absolutely lost.like really lost and confused. I've looked into the possibility of dissassociative disorder, but I truly believe I don't have alters. I do act differently at work, then I do at home but it's not to the extreme of having an alter.
I'm just so confused.
Any one who can offer any thing. ...please do
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At this point all I can be is speculative. Take the work thing....you can have a professional self that "presents" on the job and at home self where you can relax and be casual...a person can wear many hats and not have alters. A person with alters have an alter for every hat....so to speak.
On the sex thing, can it be possible of being caught up in the moment? With a few drinks maybe? Could it be something they wanted that you didn't like and you just went along and blocked it out? The brain can block memories from resurfacing too if it deems it counter productive or traumatic in some way.
You'll have to really talk to a mental health provider to help find out why things are the way they are. Good luck.