well, looking at your signature line with childlike empress and such, i think it is semi safe to say what i am going to say, going outside the box here. thinking you may believe in past lives and such???? that there is this ancient part of you that still remembers, from long ago when you were once a ceremonial priest/preistess and preformed such rituals. the cellular memory still may exist for you in one of your alters. make sense?