I went back and read your first post and it sounds similar enough to my situation that I will say re-integration CAN occur, it will most like be long and messy (mine has been). Sounds like you have good intuition. You probably will have to be a demanding a**h*** at some point(s) -- hopefully limited to your therapy sessions -- but talk that over with your therapist and see what he thinks, if he can handle it, and if he can offer suggestions about what to do if the a**h*** gets triggered in the real world. If you don't like his answer and don't have confidence that what he says sounds reasonable to you, it may best to try to find another therapist. Once I got with my current T it's taken "only" 5 years. But, like you said, very messy -- only I had already broken down and was pretty much a mess already even though I'd been trying to find help. Just went to people who didn't understand what the problem was and/or how to help with it.