Thanks for your replies,

AboutToCrash: I don't really have close friends besides my boyfriend or my sister. It happens that my sister ended up attending to the same college I attend to. I think I even started getting closer to people because of her, but on the other hand I feel like I can't scape invitations that easily. I have never told my sister about this, even though she is not dumb and notices that I'm very different from her. I ended up being friends with her best friend in college, which is a nice person. I wouldn't fear telling him I don't want to go somewhere, for example. We're not really, really close, though.

BreakForTheLight: I'm not afraid of being judged by others, I simply don't enjoy being around or hanging out with others that much. I've been around people who are a nice "match" before at work or college, for example. I will even joke, laugh with them, it's easier to work with nice people, I can enjoy that to some extent. But that's all. I don't want to hang out with them afterwards. I don't know why people enjoy this.

So it's actually quite the opposite, I've already accepted invitations because I thought I should so people wouldn't stop inviting me or start seeing me as weird.

I'm very picky too. And I've tried many times before, but I just don't get it, I can't really enjoy it. I can pull up a facade, specially if I have alcohol to help... but I know deep inside I'd rather be somewhere else, by myself or with my boyfriend.

I don't want a large group of friends and, to be honest, I don't know if I can handle a close friendship IRL either. This will probably sound as something mean, but I don't always care about people. I don't feel attached to friends and sometimes I think I don't care about them. However, I have a penpal and there's something soothing about the distance that I can't really describe. I get excited to send them stuff, for example. Weird, I know.

Recently, an ooooold friend contacted me and I was hesitant to reply their message out of fear of they wanting to get close and hang out and all.