This could be a little graphic btw

When I started I just had this insanely strong urge that I wanted to hurt myself and rip and tear and claw my way out of my own body this is still very much present but I just really wanted to do it and then when I did it felt better than I could have ever imagined. I honestly just love the feeling when it stings and is warm and I like the blood too and it just feels really really good to me like it doesn't hurt it just I honestly always want to do it 24/7 and the longest time I spent cutting without stopping was 7 hours I would/Will choose cutting over sleep and many other things because once I start I can't seem to stop unless I run out of space. It just I even think it is really pretty when I look at it and I feel like I have done "the right thing" once I have done it but also I never feel like I have done enough so I constantly want more it just feels like something I am supposed to do.