I think about this a lot too. This is my life, my everything- I want it to mean something and I fear Im just on a conveyor belt of clients, where Im just 'work' and where the responses are practised and not really meant.

Having said that, when i disclosed my T was great. I think. I can't remember too much. I know I hadn't planned on saying anything that particular session, although I had alluded to recovered memories plenty of times previously, so it wasn't a surprise to him. I only really remember the last few minutes. He was talking really gently and the only question I remember him asking is if I had had any body memories. I couldn't verbalise a response but I showed in my face that I had, and he said so gently 'that look says all I need to know'. It was just the right thing to say, and i was so grateful- I felt believed. I couldn't look at him though - I turned my head away and looked at the floor and he took a step closer and turned to be in front of me again. It was just one step but it was massively comforting. like. Massively. He wasn't going to let me shut myself off - he was with me. I don't know- it was all exactly what i needed.