From my perspective, they are the ones that are unthinking and unfeeling. You are handling things by taking care of your wife. Also you have allowed your father in law to live with you while he needed a place to stay. Not everyone needs to be emotional and having difficulty handling the natural aspects of illness and death. It is natural, especially with the elderly.

I am sorry the family is laying their expectations on you. I value your difference to the norm. It's okay. It is you. I wish you peace.