I'm sorry to hear this. I'm also afraid I'd get scammed or ripped off if I tried prostitution... I really believe that it should be not only legalized but institutionalized, like a new branch of government. There could be plenty of rules and checks to protect the sex workers as well as their clients. And I think the business generated would be huge -- it could aid the national debt in the US. Maybe it sounds wild to normal people but there are some of us who simply cannot get sex any other way, and I don't think I should be doomed to celebacy.

You're referring to virginity as a "disease"? That's pretty harsh. I guess I wouldn't know how women react since I've never gotten to the point where I'd tell them. Though I like to think I'm pretty knowledgeable since I've been watching porn for decades.

I get suicidal pretty often too, usually due to extreme loneliness. Sometimes I wonder if life is even worth living without romance and intimacy. But for what it's worth I really hope you change your mind before your 35th birthday. Life is about so much more than just sex. And while I'd love to stop the pain of loneliness and depression, I realize that EVERYTHING else would stop too. No more good days, no more pleasurable experiences -- just oblivion. So eventually I always decide that checking out early just isn't worth it. I've got a long and lonely road ahead, but this is all there is and I'm not throwing it away, though I sincerely want to sometimes.