Are you asking - what do I need to be doing to make my theraoy successful? I've asked myself that question too (maybe it's a good topic for discussion with a T). Maybe the answer depends on the person. For me I'm guessing that I need to say the things that I find hard to say. Some of these are seemingly simple, like asking my T how she feels about contact outside sessions. I think I need to speak aloud my reaction to the things my T says, even if my reaction isn't always positive. I need to tell her the positive feelings that I feel too (in other relationships Infind it hard to do and I feel that if I become comfortable doing it wirh T I can be more comfortable doing it wirh friends). I need to share my feelings with her because I've always hidden and ignored them (I mean feelings of sadness and shame).