You are so articulate, you write so vividly. I don't believe anyones trauma or inability to cope is determined by events at all, its determined by the effects it has on you.
My best friend had a great family, lots of love, I was envious but turns out some things had such a big impact it almost pushed her over the edge. I was the opposite. I think you really need to allow yourself the right to feel how you feel without the need to justify or compare it.
Easy to say, hard to do, I know because I do it myself over and over again but I need to start taking my own advice and caring for me because apparently I am worth it and SO ARE YOU.
I'm new to this site and still finding my way around so I hope this made some kind of sense. You are worthy ... take care I'm thinking of you, Julie.