Stop seeking to diagnose yourself. Living under the shadow of a diagnosis is not really living. It's copping out and avoiding responsibility. Listen. It's normal to be attracted to the "hot" girls. Everyone is attracted to them. And obesity being unattractive isn't just a socially constructed thing. It's biological. Unfit people are not seen as fertile, unfit people are not strong, unfit people do not take care of themselves, unfit people have more likely chance of living an unhealthy lifestyle than others, etc. And if you settle, you'll start to lax the standards on yourself and next thing you know you'll be out of shape even more than before.

So, you're a bigger guy. I was a bigger guy as well, thanks to my meds. I sought help from a dietitian and my GP who put me on a medication that helped with my blood sugar (thanks to the psych meds, my metabolism was very messed up). Then I worked out a solid diet plan with her and decided to go to the gym for 4-6 days a week, for at least 1.5 hours a day. To this day I don't miss a day, and when I do, I'm pissed at myself. I've even added 2-3 days of swimming for 30 minutes. I eat healthy, stay away from garbage, I eat at the right times, and I get the sleep I need. I managed to lose 60 lbs. And even then it doesn't stop. I work two jobs and go to graduate school. I completely support myself. And even then, even then, it doesn't stop. I continuously read books to expand my mind and have topics to connect with people on. I continue talking to and meeting women. Out of maybe 10, 1 says yes to a date. And out of 10 dates, maybe 2-3 agree to a second date.

My point is- do away with "leagues". Work on yourself. It's hard to find a partner regardless of your looks. Relationships are about a fit of personality. And when it comes to fit of personality, it gets even weirder. For example:

I know a woman who at 25 acts like a child and cries to guilt trip anyone who expects her to act like an adult. She is one of the most manipulative and conniving people I've ever known. She gets very angry and enraged when she can't get her way. She gossips and pits people against each other then acts cute and childlike to look innocent. I've known this woman since she was 17 and she had wrecked many guys emotionally with her cheating, lying, and messed up behavior. Guess what? She's getting married in a couple months. The guy's really good looking and financially successful, too. And after a brief dead-end convo with her last month, I realized she's still the same immature, manipulative POS I knew back then. Moral? She found a guy that LIKES her antics and not just puts up with it, but engages in it because her drama makes him feel alive.

You ever wonder why the biggest tool in the world has such a hot and supportive girlfriend? Same reason. Eva Braun was absolutely obsessed with Adolf Hitler. I don't believe there's someone out there for everyone. But I do believe people have their preferences, and many of these preferences are unconscious and rather bizarre.

Don't pathologize yourself. Love yourself. Work on yourself. Get yourself fit, learn, converse, and meet new people. Keep upgrading yourself until those standards are no longer "high". And don't shy away from talking to attractive women. It's not about looks for them. It's about personality and responsibility. Build your responsible and masculine character by improving yourself and your life. And keep trying. The more numbers you go through, the more likely you'll find someone that works well with you.