I was never bullied. Up until I was 11 years old, I was really popular in school. When I was in second grade, I have memory of me and my friends bullying a girl that no one in our class liked.

When I was in third grade, still no one liked her. Her name was Elizabeth. There was another girl that joined our class that year. She had severe autism and her name was Megan. I took an interest in Megan, and so did Elizabeth. The rest of the class was kind of afraid to approach Megan because none of us understood autism. So usually, I would go sit with Megan and color with her. Elizabeth would join us. Megan was always with a special Ed teacher while the regular teacher taught the rest of the class. Whenever the special Ed teacher couldn't calm down Megan (she had a lot of outbursts and crying fits) she would hide in the class "closet" and yell out for me and Elizabeth to come to her.

So Elizabeth invited everyone in our grade to her own birthday party. I get an invitation too, and so did Megan. I knew none of my friends would go...and I was friends with everyone so that's how I knew. I decided to go because I liked Elizabeth. Megan showed up too. No one else did. I got to see how poor Elizabeth's family was. I spent the night and the sheets smelled like urine. The house was dirty and gross. They didn't own very much...they lived in the poor area of our county. So it made me sad that she didn't have any friends.

But I didn't really have the guts to be besties with her. I knew I would be made fun of by my friends. So while I was always nice to her, I never played with her or saw her after school. She moved after fourth grade, anyway. I cannot find her ANYWHERE. I can't find her anywhere on Facebook. I really want to know where she is now.

After I was 11 years old, we moved to a different county and I changed schools. From 6th grade to my sophomore year, I had few friends and was very depressed all of the time. I had severe social anxiety that actually started while I was still at my old school but I'd had plenty of friends that didn't seem to mind. I was afraid to talk to people because I knew I would embarrass myself. I thought I was fat, and I wore glasses until 9th grade, and had braces. I was never bullied by the popular kids, though. Some of them were nice to me, but most of them just ignored me. I truly thought I was invisible for years.

And then in my junior year of high school, I think that's when I had my first manic episode (or at least hypo manic) because I got really sick with anorexia but I was crazy social and made tons of friends and was always going to parties, getting drunk and smoking. I drank and smoked to mask my social anxiety. It "loosened" me up. By that point, I was also never bullied, but everyone thought I was a slut (I wasn't). So people would say things about me behind my back and I would hear about them later.

But anyway, I was never bullied but I think I was always afraid of being bullied.