While things really haven't been great the last couple months, things were bad last night. My mood has just tanked. I was spinning and spiraling last night, crying uncontrollably, couldn't sleep. While I have had SI lately, it has been strong lately. I was going in circles, well still am really. I eventually took some xanex really early this morning that I had as a PRN from last year. I know if I didn't get at least a little bit of sleep, I was going to completely lose it. I finally fell asleep. The crying is better today, I am still agitated and irritable. My next appointment with the pdoc is in 2 weeks.