I honestly really don't want to attempt again.im about to get baptised and things are okay but i don't know how to stop when i make plans. My biggest problem may have even been solved and that was i felt like being disabled i wouldn't know what to do when my parents are gone.my therapist said wed work on a plan and no one was going to completely abandon me. But i still feel this irresistible urge to end my life and i feel like the only way i can make it through is if i make myself seriously sick by overdose but not enough to kill myself to satisfy the urge.i just have to do it without dying . it's risky but i feel like ill go crazy if i simply let it be.thank you for caring though but i think ill be okay for now it's just hard deceiving my parents. My mom knows i have suicidal thoughts not what I plan to do.

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