Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaWhitney
I didn't want to hijack the original post by SeekerOfLife, so I hope nobody minds me posting this. I read the whole thread and I'm going to admit I'm sort of in awe of everyone's stories about disclosing.
I haven't been able to disclose, I've just acknowledged that it may have happened when I led my T to ask me. After reading everyone's experiences I feel so different from all of you and a million miles away from being able to talk about it. Everyone found words to use and I just don't feel like words will ever match my experience. It's too confusing, it just doesn't seem like it can be labelled. Not that it's too big to be labelled, but more like no label will fit if that makes sense?
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm assuming that disclosing was easy for anyone that posted, as I am sure it was not. But it seems to have gone well for most and I just don't see this as a possibility for me.
Did anyone actually feel this way before disclosing? Please be honest so I'll know if I should just accept that I am always going to be some sort of oddball or not.
I hope I haven't offended anyone in posting this
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I ABSOLUTELY felt that way. Still do, to a certain extent. I don't think you're an oddball at all.
It's funny, I think we all feel this pressure to find the 'right' words; have the
'right' feelings and the 'right' reaction. I don't think I ever did find the appropriate words. Maybe I will, someday, but I've found that, far from finding words that match my experience perfectly, it's become less important to find those words.
I guess I just think about it less. It seems less important. Maybe that makes sense.
Anyway, don't feel weird. Your T. can help when you feel ready.
Take care.