hi Veiledregret 1234

I am very sorry for your loss. Your brother is with the Lord that which is the important thing and I hope and pray he brings healing for you and the family. You did the very best you can for him and no one can do more than that. As has been said he would not want you to blame yourself but to recover from depression and lead a happy life.
Don't worry about suicidal thoughts. They are just thoughts and can't make us do anything we don't want to. Perhaps seeing a counselor at this point would be a good idea. Perhaps the Dr. could strengthen the medication for depression for you. also. I hope and pray you feel much better soon. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis