Hi Otiose,

Being suicidal and worrying that you're not smart enough is super stressful and stress really turns off your brain!

You might want to try making friends with your senses and live in the present moment for a while. You can see, hear, taste, smell, feel, feel the inside of your body. Your senses are trying to heal you. When I feel bad, I move. I L O V E going for walks. Around here, there are the Fall colors to enjoy. Look up "Eckart Tolle" on youtube.

I like Mark Hyman for good stuff you can do for your brain. There is lots that you might get from his recent blog

6 Strategies to Eliminate Depression - Dr. Mark Hyman

It's all healthy for you anyway.

I also think that these notes and the simple fun thing to do in them may help:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

Especially the meditative aspects of snap club.

Over all, I think you should find a way to feel better first before worrying about connecting to people.

Also, remember, you can always connect to people here!

- vital