I replied in the first thread about my experience, so I won't repeat it here, but I can definitely relate to what you are saying about not having the words for it. I went in with the intent to discuss that I felt like I needed to talk about it, but didn't know how, and didn't have the words for it, and that was all I was going to talk about; just HOW to learn how to talk about it. But my unconscious had a different view, and took over. I still don't know exactly what I told my T that day, beyond a few things like who and when.
My recommendation is tell your T exactly what you said below, and that you want to talk about not knowing how to talk about it and feeling like you'll never be able to do so, and see what happens from there. Nothing says you have to talk about specifics just because you are talking about not being able to talk about it.
Good luck - it's not easy but talking around the subject might take you closer to talking about the abuse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaWhitney
I didn't want to hijack the original post by SeekerOfLife, so I hope nobody minds me posting this. I read the whole thread and I'm going to admit I'm sort of in awe of everyone's stories about disclosing.
I haven't been able to disclose, I've just acknowledged that it may have happened when I led my T to ask me. After reading everyone's experiences I feel so different from all of you and a million miles away from being able to talk about it. Everyone found words to use and I just don't feel like words will ever match my experience. It's too confusing, it just doesn't seem like it can be labelled. Not that it's too big to be labelled, but more like no label will fit if that makes sense?
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm assuming that disclosing was easy for anyone that posted, as I am sure it was not. But it seems to have gone well for most and I just don't see this as a possibility for me.
Did anyone actually feel this way before disclosing? Please be honest so I'll know if I should just accept that I am always going to be some sort of oddball or not.
I hope I haven't offended anyone in posting this
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