hi jclown
all you have to do is look to the media to see how many relationships/lives have come undone because people have not been able to control their fetishes. super skinny girl is probably going to be unlikely to want to gain weight for you and discovering your internet activity would in the least make her insecure and cause problems in the relationship. there are lots of heavyset girls who would love the fact that you would love them for their body type. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome