what do you think it means if i have family members with schizophrenia and i have every single sign of schizophrenia but psychosis?

i have been in and out of the mental health system most of my life, no proper dx... i think i just inherited all the characteristics of the disorder without the full on disorder... but i am definitely abnormal...

even without a proper dx, i have been off and on antipsychotics for 13 years.

i almost wonder if me and my family just dont fit the way society wants us to be... if i didnt live in the middle of nowhere and wasnt totally beaten down by the system, i would deal with them... i also may have CPTSD.