Quote:
Originally Posted by finding_my_way
i have a difficult time with hobbies. i cannot find one i like for long. i have tried art over the years, collages, painting actual images (horrible), and recently stencils. it looked so easy to do...it's not. the first time i tried one, i became frustrated which then led to actual rage when then triggered something so bad that there was mild self harm involved which then led to a week and a half of being severely dissociated. i do not know why or what was triggered.
i used to think it was just my perfectionism, but now i don't know. i do not feel that level of anger ever...just frustration and mild anger..not actual rage.....and i just tried to do another canvas.....i managed to not get angry (it doesn't look how i hoped it would, and i hate it)...but now i am just feeling really sad and depressed....a little angry...but i don't understand my reaction.
all i wanted was to find one thing i could do and enjoy doing .....and i can't even have that....
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for me there wasnt a problem with having hobbies. each one of my alters had their own way of being, their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being. that included what they did and did not do like hobbies.
example Rainy's hobby was collecting soft blankets, sunny liked collecting rocks, Thelma had quite an adult collection, Red's hobby was movies where the main character was angry at the world and striking out at the world/doomsday type movies,...
some of my alters kept journals, some painted, some weaved, some volunteered at animal shelters, ....
some of my alters hobbies were long term and others were short term and many\a variety...
my point hobbies dont necessarily need to be long term and dont necessarily need to be just one thing...
its ok to have a hobby for only a short time then move on to nothing or something different..
what really matters is its how ever and what ever you need at that moment.
my suggestion dont worry about how long that hobby interests you or that it becomes frustrating. just take your time and enjoy it while it lasts and when it starts frustrating you to move on to what ever else happens to catch your interest and curiosity at that moment and if nothing happens to catch your interest then its ok to just be with out a hobby until something comes along.
hobbies are not something meant to be something you ....have.... to do like a chore, they are based on ones own interest at the moment to do when a person wants to, on what ever they want to.