Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaWhitney
I tried and I said that I was too confused about it, I only like talking about facts and that I didn't think that was possible for this subject. She asked if I had blocked things out and I played dumb and asked her what does that even mean/ how does that happen? I was sneakily trying to get some sort of definition out of her so that I would know if what I might have done was acceptable to her or not. She didn't pick up on this though and seemed to think I was just giving a long winded 'no' so we sort of left this discussion shortly after.
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It sounds like you are worried about her judging what happened to you or how you coped with it, which is why you weren't being straight up with her, and trying to make her guess or intuit what you need is not going to happen the way you want it to. If she has guessed at the subject, she is likely assuming that you aren't ready to speak of it yet, so is respecting the boundaries that you are putting up.
I don't have any suggestions for how to open yourself up, drop the boundaries, and trust that she will support and not judge what you may have done as "unacceptable".