I'm glad you are happy with it.

I'm not and that's maybe why I'm not a real schizoid?

I'm not happy with it not due to cultural expectations, just simply I feel I need to relate to people at least in an indirect way. Let me explain. I am not happy just sitting at home and vegetating. I like to do things beyond just vegetating. And doing things to me means I have to relate to people at least in that indirect way.

And if this requires being around people then I have a problem because I may not feel comfortable around them. Whether I feel comfortable usually depends on whether I have a goal or task to focus on. If I do have that then I am ok, though there was a time when I was not feeling any good even then.

If I temporarily don't have a task or goal to focus on, I'll still be ok if people are including me in their stuff in an enjoyable way, if they do not do this, I feel very uncomfortable and have to leave.

Currently my problem beyond that is that I'm too isolated and I somehow ran out of projects to focus on. Essentially, it's a conflict between my desire for achievement that requires being around people and between my dread of being around people.