((( bellaviolet )))

I'm so sorry. It's so very hard to deal with. Are you talking to a T about this?

I lost 2 brothers, one was 38 and one was 42. And like you, I watched one of them suffer. And you're so right. The image is not only imprinted on your brain, it's imprinted in every fiber of your body.

Try to be gentle with yourself and do something nice in his honor.

Please feel free to PM if you need a shoulder.