I find adjusting to separation then divorce, depression, trauma, it is too much. Now all the drama is settled down but my mind won't shut off. It is like a movie I keep replaying. In the last 5 years I have been through too much. My Dad died, I got disabled, my Mother has dementia, they sold their home. I was forced to move out a month before he died. I got into subsidized housing, lightning struck my apt. while i was in it, split the floor. then my new apt the guy next to me broke into it 3 times. i suffered 2 heart attacks while here, one at my parents house previously, i suffered 3 major strokes, 11 mini strokes, over a dozen brain seizures, then i had 4 types of cancer which are presently in remission. now i have palsy. and my spouse i called 911 on cause they PTSD on me, went ballistic reliving the Vietnam War. I had to switch doctors ended up with an intern through the University who bought the hospital. It is a research center now. I am catching my breath. I don't want to do this anymore. There are times I ask God why didn't he just let me die last year when I was so ill so I wouldn't have had to go through all this drama with my spouse. now they are in state custody and there is nothing i can do about it. state has them under mental health dept. and they are divorcing me and they are not allowed to talk to me, contact me and i cannot know how my spouse is doing. how in the world does anyone work with that or get closure? it is all a bad nightmare the last 5 years of my life.