Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
Thanks for your input, everyone. I thought I would update you that he ended up breaking up with me yesterday. We had spent the day together at a fair, and we were both fairly guarded (moreso me). Our conversations just hadn't been working for the past week. From his point of view I wasn't adding enough to conversations, so they fell flat. From my point of view, he was the one doing this. When he dropped me off at my house he said he thought we should break up. He said that I seem so into him and that he doesn't want to string me along hoping he'll develop stronger feelings for me, and then hurt me even more. He said he didn't think we have enough in common and that I deserve better.
A part of me wanted to convince him to stay, but the other part of me knew it was right that it was ending. I want someone who is over the moon for me, as healing4me says. Nevertheless, I am crushed by the ending and feel so rejected. I don't understand why he was so ambivalent about me, but I liked him so much as a person. I know it wasn't a healthy relationship because I was constantly insecure and looking for proof that he liked me all the time, soaking up any affection he gave. But I still really miss him and it has been very hard not to contact him today. I've been crying on and off all day.
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I'm sorry it ended like this. On the other hand, it's good that you're so down-to-earth with the ending and didn't get attached to the
relationship. I don't think he was ambivalent, I think he didn't 'clicked' like you did. It happens and I bet you know he doesn't think bad of you.
Look, I'm in a looong-term relationship myself and I get insecure pretty often considering the time we're together. I'm one to require a lot of reassurance and feel overwhelmed from times to times, which can be frustrating to my boyfriend. So be aware of this the next time you're with someone too, ok? I'm telling you this because I struggle with these feelings and intrusive thoughts that make me think my relationship is not healthy, even though I know it's actually pretty stable. Not saying that this was your case, but since you detect this in yourself in a short relationship, it's better to watch out and, I don't know, work it out or at least be self-reflective and don't go too hard on yourself (or too soft, who knows).
That's something weird for me too, I mostly always can't control it and it's tricky. Sorry if this was too much or if it doesn't apply to you. It's one of my worst traits to deal with as I have a hard time with close relationships.