Hi. I am new to this site. I've been reading a lot of people's post on here and it gave me the courage to write my own. I need to get it out. I hope someone will read this and can relate. All my life I have never been faithful to my significant other. I've always wanted or needed to have another man to confident in emotionally. It's like I keep one man to live with me to do physical activities with and be my partner that way...but then I have another man to run too if something goes wrong. I tend to pick up down on their luck men, fix them up and get them back in their feet again and once that they are established...I get bored (I feel like my work here is done) and I go onto the next. It's a pattern.
My current boyfriend is very intelligent and has picked up on this and has chosen to stay with me besides the emotional affairs I have. I'm hurting him and I want to stop but I don't know how. My boyfriend and I work together and live together so we are literally together 24/7 and I feel like I'm losing my identity. I'm moody all the time and I have lost all desire to be intimate with him. I do it anyways so he doesn't get upset with me. I just can't open up emotionally to him or anyone unless they are a complete stranger.
I feel like such an.....@$$hole.