It is always hard when there is a breakdown in communication. So many questions remain unanswered or unasked and it is difficult to let go. Ending a relationship is always harder when there are children involved because then it is not simply about adults that do not get along, there is another person who, through no fault of their own, is adversely affected as well. As hard as it may be, I would say it is best not to contact the child unless she changes her mind or they are 18 (you didnt mention how old he was). The fact is, that you may never get the answers you need for closure. That is difficult to get past, but that is where letting go comes into play. She is responsible for her actions, just as you are for yours. If you are able to look honestly at yourself and make peace with your role in the end of the relationship, that is all you can do. While it is natural to want the other party to accept their share of the blame or to see them grow as you are trying to do, it probably isn't going to happen. Take what you have learned about yourself from this experience and grow positively from it.

Hugs and best wishes with moving forward!

~Seanachai~