Interesting.
Your partner sounds rather like my niece.
Attractive, flirty, attention seeking, manipulating, greedy, materialistic, a drama queen, self absorbed, never stops talking (about herself) a 'femme fatale' indeed. Her husband, in this case is hopelessly besotted with the creature, who abandoned her first two children and has pretty much ignored her third leaving it to husband and grandparents to do the nitty gritty chores.
They put on a 'good show' for the public like, wow the 'ideal couple' but in private life with her ain't easy
He seems trapped like a fly in a spiders web, not happy but unable to break away.

I suspect NPD. Narcissistic personality disorder.

I do admire you staying for your kids, a good dad.