Imo feelings justified. My fiance is like your bf very friendly and very clueless. I, like you, worry what the woman thinks and what her actions are. Or her intentions. Some women dont care about ones relationship status. When hes feeling better talk to him. Explain everything to him. If your comfortable meet this woman and you will pick up on her vibes. If not i dont think its wrong to ask he not spend time unless your there or to stop private msgs unless you see them. Im a jealous person so i might not be the best to give advice. I can put myself in your shoes quite well as ive been there. I have all passwords and full access to fiances phone whenever i want. As does he have my passwords and acces to my phone. This is because of a very similar situation with an ultimatum. Sorry you have to go through this. For the record my fiance has never and will never cheat on me. I know this now and believe it. I still worry about other women all the time. Rambling sorry.