To me it sounds out like you have figured out the problem...you can't get too close emotionally to someone you know. Now all you have to do is figure out why. What are you afraid of? Is it the potential to be rejected by someone who knows all about you? I notice that you are feeling like you are losing your identity...that could be part of it right there. Many people go into relationships thinking that they must compromise who they are and meld into some combination of the two. That is so not the case. A solid relationship is going to be give and take. Each individual must respect the other and compromise on areas of disagreement. Its like becoming a mixture instead of a solution (in science-y terms). I'd encourage you to talk to him about it. Discuss his expectations of a relationship, his fears, your fears...the whole nine yards. If you dont feel comfortable talking about your fears with him, I'd find someone you can bounce thoughts off of to uncover what is really nagging at you.

~Seanachai~